He Answered Me Directly

I have only one week left until I leave for my mission, and I have been constantly worrying about what might happen here at home.  My mission call specifically asks for me to leave all of my personal affairs at home and lean on my Savior to help me through my mission.  I have been trying to figure out a way to allow myself to let go all of my personal affairs... my home, my family, my friends, my sweetheart.... But tonight as I prayed for strength and I prayed for help I received a direct answer from my beloved Heavenly Father.  I randomly turned to  Doctrine & Covenants 84:119, and it says, "For I, The Lord, have put forth my hand to exert the powers of heaven; ye cannot see it now, yet a little while and ye shall see it, and know that I am, and that I will come and reign with my people."

This immediate response from my Father in Heaven penetrated my soul.  He gave me peace.  He gave me hope.  He taught me how to trust in Him.  He gave me all that I needed in one little verse of scripture.  He told me to be patient by telling me that I can't see it now, but I will.  Heavenly Father told me that I will see it... and then I will be there to testify of Him.  I testify of his goodness and his perfect timing.  I testify of His love and His devotion.  I testify of His power.  I testify that He knows each and every one of us.  I know that our beloved Father in Heaven knows how to take care of us.  We are His children.  He knows us.  He knows how we recognize Him.  And tonight, I believe He wrapped His arms around me and told me that He is going to take care of everything that I cannot.  I love Him.  He has prepared me for my tasks and my duties.

He has prepared me..... And I am ready now.  I am ready to stand as one of His daughters.  I am ready to serve.

Big Gigantic News!!

Sooooooo.... I GOT MY MISSION CALL!!!!!!!! Lemme tell you the story first though. I turned my mission papers in at the end of April.  Two weeks later my stake president called me and told me that Salt Lake City called and told him to tell me that I had to go get my depression checked out before they could assign my mission to me.  I went and got it checked out by a counselor, and he told me I have really mild depression and that it won't affect my work in my mission too much.  So after that he told me that he would have my mission papers in by that next Tuesday.... well two more weeks passed.  By now it had been a month.  So my bishop made a couple calls and he found out that my counselor didn't turn them in until that previous Friday.  So now I was playing the waiting game yet again.  Another month passed and I had stopped waiting around for it to show up. My bishop then called again and told me that it had been delayed in Salt Lake because the lady who received my call had a heart attack and emergency surgery the next day so my mission papers had been sitting on her desk for a month.  So two weeks later I got my call.  I am going to the California Bakersfield Mission.  I report to the MTC September 17, 2014!  That's 73 days away! I got lots to do!!!

Trials. There's Always a New Trial.

I'm just gonna say it plainly. This sucks so bad.  I have been waiting for my mission call for nearly 3 weeks now and it's killing me... but that's not what kills.  I attended a semester of college before I turned in my mission papers..... ugh. Let me start from the beginning.

I was accepted to my dream college this past year shortly after graduating from high school.  And as everyone knows, college is super expensive.  Well, to make a long story short, I was awarded two scholarships to attend school and it still wasn't enough money to get me enrolled.  So my mom used some of her book revenue to put me through my first semester of college.  It was marvelous and I honestly felt like I accomplished something with my life....

Now because I am heading on a mission, I was going to defer (have the school hold my scholarships and enrollment until I got home from my mission) and head out to serve my mission.  I was anticipating on serving in June.  Because I didn't want to get started on another semester of college and only get halfway through it before I left, I made the decision to work instead of go back to school.  Besides, I didn't have the money to return to school anyhow!  So I moved on and I turned in my papers before the start of my new semester, hoping I would be able to defer if I could. 

One requirement at my school for deferring my enrollment was: tell the administration which mission I was going to be serving in and I have to turn in a copy of my mission call.... Well I didn't get my mission call before the semester started.  I knew that. So I automatically lost my enrollment and my scholarships for not deferring and for not registering for any classes.  I was upset that I lost all of that money for my schooling that I have desperately needed to study there.  But you know, I got over it because I felt like the Lord was pleased with my progress in other things.

Now I have yet another trial to overcome.... I just got an email from my admissions office today that said this:

•  If you are below the minimum credits, your award will be reduced.
  
  • If you are below 14 credits and you have an Academic Scholarship, the scholarship will be cancelled.
  • You will have to repay any funds that have been reduced or cancelled.

 

Yeah. Tonight is a not so good night.  I have a crap load of money I apparently have to repay now because I didn't register or defer.  It wasn't my fault. I did all I could!  I tried to get my mission call!  I couldn't afford another semester of school!  I am not entirely sure I would be able to get through the semester without having to leave anyways!! UGH! I am so frustrated!!!

 

 

I know the Lord has a plan for me.  I know that.  It may be difficult to accept right now, especially since I now have to come up with the money to repay my college, but I have faith that I can make it through this.  The Lord knows how I can overcome this.

 

 

To Panic? Or Not To Panic?

So a lot has happened since I last wrote. I have gone on dates and I have enjoyed life.  But life has suddenly bit down hard on my family again.  This is yet another trial that my family must endure.  For those who don't know, I moved when I was ten-years-old to a new house.  That was hard for me. I left my childhood friends behind, my house, my life, everything.... But that was enjoyable for me.  I was ten and I really wanted an adventure.  Well... in the past 9 years, my mom has beaten breast cancer, had numerous surgeries and tumors removed, and my father had open heart surgery.  We are financially spent. It's a miracle that I was able to attend a semester of college, and even begin the long process of doing mission papers.  I am so grateful for those opportunities and I thank Heavenly Father every day for that.

Here's the hard part.  Heavenly Father has called upon my family to endure yet another trial. Because of our financial situation we may have to move and downsize to a smaller house. A smaller house would mean moving away from our close friends, getting rid of practically half our stuff, and possibly being cramped up in a really small house.  Sure a new house would be a fun adventure, but here are the reasons:

1. to keep Dad from having another heart attack because he's over stressed.
2. To relieve some of the financial burdens from his shoulders.
3. To get him a smaller yard so he doesn't die while trying to mow the stupid acre.
4. To pay off some of the bills from the medical expenses.

Pretty stupid huh?  Yeah. I'm kinda freaking out here.  I don't want to show my parents how panicked I am just because it'll stress them out more.  Being the oldest, I feel it's my responsibility to help out with everything.  I have helped take care of the house ever since I was eleven and my Mom couldn't help because of her cancer.  I have watched my parents try to provide for my siblings and I.  As soon as I turned sixteen, I got a job and I have been trying to provide for myself ever since.  Because of all of the financial trouble and the new trials we have to endure, my parents are afraid that I'll abandon my mission and stay home to work.  I'm never abandoning my mission. I'm set in my ways and I'm going.  There are people I need to teach.  There are things I must learn.  And I know the Lord will bless my family while I'm gone.  If we have to move, fine.  But I really don't want them to.  The move alone could kill my dad.  We live in an ideal location and we live in a house that suits us very, very well.  I'm such a worrywart and I worry about my parents constantly.  They worry about us all the time.

Truth is, I feel like I have lived an amazing life.  I have lived in a wonderful community with wonderful friends.  I have been able to maintain my standards and live a very moral life.  I live in a wonderful city surrounded by amazing good things.  I have been raised by amazing parents who have sacrificed so much to raise my siblings and I.  I may have never had much possession wise or money wise, but that part of life has never really mattered to me.  I don't need much to live on.  I don't need a nice car even though it would be fun.  I don't need the latest clothes, the ones I have can be altered and changed to look cute.  I don't need much.  At all.  My parents feel so guilty for not being able to provide a life of leisure for my siblings and I.  We don't honestly care.

We have a mom who loves us, and a dad who loves us.  We have each other.  We have pets.  We have cars.  We have a house.  Sure, we have money troubles, but take all of that away and we are so happy and content and can live on practically nothing as long as we have each other. 

I'm lost.  I don't know what to do.  I want to throw my hands up in the air and run away sometimes, so I can only imagine what my sweet parents are feeling.  I want them to feel confident in themselves and their ability to provide for my family.  My mom has published her book so she can earn income for the family.  If you're reading this, go to her website and check it out.  It's a fantastic book.  http://elliseweaver.weebly.com/

I don't want to lose hope.  All we have is faith and hope.  I know the Lord will help us and that he will always provide for us; maybe not the way we would hope He would, but he does provide for the faithful.  He will help us out, I know he will.  This is just another trial.

Please keep my family in your prayers.  It doesn't matter what religion you are.  Please keep my family in your prayers.  Thanks!

~Hannah

My First Unofficial Anniversary

Well today was my first anniversary with my sweetheart!!!! We have officially been dating for a year!  He showed up on my doorstep around 7:30 pm with a dozen red roses and chocolates for me! AAHHHH! He's the best! I honestly love him so much and he made my day!  Out of everything today, I was so happy I got to spend a couple hours watching him smile and laugh with me.  He truly is my whole world and I can't wait to be with him forever. :) Just three years until we can! I love you Braden!!!

Pretty momentous day!

Here's the recap since April 27 (my birthday): I drew pictures all of that afternoon with my brother, my roommate, and my sweet boyfriend.  We ate a beef roast dinner and it was delicious! My parents gave me an envelope with my present inside.  They bought me a super fancy scripture case for my mission that can hold waaaaaaaaaay more than scriptures!!! Oh boy will I need that!  I'm excited for it to get here so I can play with it and see what all it does.  Anyways, then we all went downstairs and watched my baby videos.  Since my mom loved to take videos of me in the bathtub when I was little, I was trying to get my dad to fast forward the movie so my man wouldn't see..... but then on the video, my dad said "This movie will embarrass you on your 19th birthday!" We all busted out laughing!!! How on earth did we manage to get such a coincidence??!! Who would've thought that I would be watching baby movies on my 19th birthday sitting next to my boyfriend!!!! Surely not my father!  Haha! It was so funny!

I don't remember doing anything on Monday....... yup. Nothing interesting happened at all.

But today was Tuesday, and it was a fantastic day!  I got out of bed and I got ready for my day.  Then I met the sister missionaries in town and I went with them to teach their investigators!! It was sooo soooooooo cool! We taught two older men and they were really friendly and they were very receptive to the Spirit and would often comment on our testimonies.  I have much to learn, but I am so eager to go! I'm chomping at the bit to get out to the mission field and teach!

When I got home, I took my roommate into town and we just hung out and ate a cheeseburger (I've been wanting one for two weeks!!).  I really enjoyed being with her.  She's a fantastic roommate.  So afterwards, we went home and basked in the sunlight in my front yard.  It was nice and it was fantastically warm.  Then we made dinner and sent my sister off to go to the temple with her mutual group.  My sweetheart got off work and came to spend some time at my house with me.  I also got to finish my visiting teaching for the month.  It was fantastic!  After that, we all went for a walk and I got to hold hands with my honey and skip down the road. I love him so much!  When we got back to the house, I had to go to my interview with my stake president for my missionary recommendation...... AND HE SUBMITTED MY PAPERS!!!!!!!! So I should be getting my mission call in the next week to two weeks.

When I got home from my interview, I talked with my mom for a good hour and a half about everything that's been going on.  She's the best listener in the world! I'm going to miss her while I'm on my mission.  A lot.  But after that, my roommate decided she wanted to convince me to watch, "Woman in Black." Uh yeah.......... never again. That stupid movie scared the crap out of me!  Now I kinda want to turn on all the lights in my room and never fall asleep. BAAAAAD idea!! I have no idea how she convinced me to watch it.  Silly me.  So now I'm going to somewhat attempt not to have nightmares.  But it's soooooo her fault if I do.

~Hannah

Pre-Birthday party!

I pulled an all-nighter last night! I WAS SO TIRED!!! So I got my sister and my roommate up at 6 am and one of my friends came and picked us up to take us to breakfast.  On our way to pick up my sweetheart, we hit a bird. I hate hitting animals of any sort on the road! This was the first one I witnessed and I wanted to cry!!! Poor little bird!  But anyways, we picked up my sweetheart and we went to Denny's.  We had a really fun birthday breakfast and we all laughed and talked a lot.  I love my friends!

So when I got home from Denny's, I took a nap.  I couldn't handle no sleep at all! So when I woke up in the early afternoon, I cleaned the house and then I got ready to go out for my birthday party with my man and my friends! :D

There were 8 of us in total and we all carpooled over to Chuckarama and ate tons of food! They also got me some presents.  It was rather fun to open them.  My roommate is an art major, so she drew a picture of me from the musical I starred in.  It is beautiful!!! I also got a pizza scented pillow, a watch, a pocket watch necklace, lots of candy, a beautiful necklace, and lots of laughs! We had such a blast!

When we finished at the restaurant, we went to my house and played games until 11:20 at night and laughed so hard that some of us were crying.  It was honestly one of the best nights ever!!!!!!!!