He Answered Me Directly

I have only one week left until I leave for my mission, and I have been constantly worrying about what might happen here at home.  My mission call specifically asks for me to leave all of my personal affairs at home and lean on my Savior to help me through my mission.  I have been trying to figure out a way to allow myself to let go all of my personal affairs... my home, my family, my friends, my sweetheart.... But tonight as I prayed for strength and I prayed for help I received a direct answer from my beloved Heavenly Father.  I randomly turned to  Doctrine & Covenants 84:119, and it says, "For I, The Lord, have put forth my hand to exert the powers of heaven; ye cannot see it now, yet a little while and ye shall see it, and know that I am, and that I will come and reign with my people."

This immediate response from my Father in Heaven penetrated my soul.  He gave me peace.  He gave me hope.  He taught me how to trust in Him.  He gave me all that I needed in one little verse of scripture.  He told me to be patient by telling me that I can't see it now, but I will.  Heavenly Father told me that I will see it... and then I will be there to testify of Him.  I testify of his goodness and his perfect timing.  I testify of His love and His devotion.  I testify of His power.  I testify that He knows each and every one of us.  I know that our beloved Father in Heaven knows how to take care of us.  We are His children.  He knows us.  He knows how we recognize Him.  And tonight, I believe He wrapped His arms around me and told me that He is going to take care of everything that I cannot.  I love Him.  He has prepared me for my tasks and my duties.

He has prepared me..... And I am ready now.  I am ready to stand as one of His daughters.  I am ready to serve.

Trials. There's Always a New Trial.

I'm just gonna say it plainly. This sucks so bad.  I have been waiting for my mission call for nearly 3 weeks now and it's killing me... but that's not what kills.  I attended a semester of college before I turned in my mission papers..... ugh. Let me start from the beginning.

I was accepted to my dream college this past year shortly after graduating from high school.  And as everyone knows, college is super expensive.  Well, to make a long story short, I was awarded two scholarships to attend school and it still wasn't enough money to get me enrolled.  So my mom used some of her book revenue to put me through my first semester of college.  It was marvelous and I honestly felt like I accomplished something with my life....

Now because I am heading on a mission, I was going to defer (have the school hold my scholarships and enrollment until I got home from my mission) and head out to serve my mission.  I was anticipating on serving in June.  Because I didn't want to get started on another semester of college and only get halfway through it before I left, I made the decision to work instead of go back to school.  Besides, I didn't have the money to return to school anyhow!  So I moved on and I turned in my papers before the start of my new semester, hoping I would be able to defer if I could. 

One requirement at my school for deferring my enrollment was: tell the administration which mission I was going to be serving in and I have to turn in a copy of my mission call.... Well I didn't get my mission call before the semester started.  I knew that. So I automatically lost my enrollment and my scholarships for not deferring and for not registering for any classes.  I was upset that I lost all of that money for my schooling that I have desperately needed to study there.  But you know, I got over it because I felt like the Lord was pleased with my progress in other things.

Now I have yet another trial to overcome.... I just got an email from my admissions office today that said this:

•  If you are below the minimum credits, your award will be reduced.
  
  • If you are below 14 credits and you have an Academic Scholarship, the scholarship will be cancelled.
  • You will have to repay any funds that have been reduced or cancelled.

 

Yeah. Tonight is a not so good night.  I have a crap load of money I apparently have to repay now because I didn't register or defer.  It wasn't my fault. I did all I could!  I tried to get my mission call!  I couldn't afford another semester of school!  I am not entirely sure I would be able to get through the semester without having to leave anyways!! UGH! I am so frustrated!!!

 

 

I know the Lord has a plan for me.  I know that.  It may be difficult to accept right now, especially since I now have to come up with the money to repay my college, but I have faith that I can make it through this.  The Lord knows how I can overcome this.